hunches

So I had somehow convinced myself in the last post that I was pregnant. And not only was I convinced, Jeff was too. And here's the results of those hunches:



I know they're faint--that's because they were the first two I took. I ended up taking four more. And they were all positive. So, I'm calling it. I'm pregnant. (With a boy.)

I was in such disbelief at first--which is exactly why I took six pregnancy tests. Anyone else ever have fertility problems? You'll understand. You've taken so many negative tests. AF has come so many times. It's hard to believe that a positive is, well, a positive.

I'm pretty happy about where I'm at with this pregnancy. I'm starting out in a much better financial position than the last time I got pregnant, which means I will have more choices about prenatal care & birth than I did the first time around. I'm also much more knowledgable about prenatal nutrition and what are truly necessary vs. optional medical interventions than the last time around. I've learned, for example, how to prevent pre-eclampsia, which plagued me at the end of my last pregnancy. I have more connections this time around--I know who to go to for prenatal care (both from the midwife end and from the ob/gyn end). I know which local ob/gyn is least likely to give an unnecessary c-section. I have a doctor that I trust. I have many new good friends who I know I can count on if I need them. And who will unconditionally support my choices. This is one of the highlights of this pregnancy--I actually have a supportive local community. And for this I am very thankful.

The dreams have started already. I always get such vivid dreams during pregnancy. It makes it nearly impossible to get a good night's sleep. I woke up before 5:30 this morning, because when Jeff's alarm went off the first time, it sent me into such a strange dream. I dreamt that I was running from a barking dog, and I jumped into some kind of hole. I was trying to climb out of the hole, but I couldn't, so I looked up and saw two faces. It looked like the faces were looking in through about a foot of water. They said, "You're in a waterfall," and I realized they meant an avalanche. Then I started falling, and the snow was coming in all around me, and I couldn't breathe, and I woke up and thought, "You need to wake up or you'll smother in your sleep." I couldn't sleep after that, so I just got up and watched another episode of Little House on the Prairie (thanks, Lara!).

My next post will detail the things I did that led up to this pregnancy. I can't say for sure that any one thing or the other made a difference, but altogether, something worked! So, I'll share my experiences.

And you can be looking for this blog to either (1) end soon or (2) move to a different location. I plan to discuss some private decisions regarding this pregnancy, and I haven't decided if I'm just going to discuss them in person, or in a different (more guarded) online location.