So that I have these all in one place, I'm linking here.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=396414
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Top 5 ways to receive 3rd-world medical treatment in a developed country
1. Refuse unnecessary surgery.
2. Mention to your doctor that you have used, researched, or found results from any type of natural or alternative medicine.
3. Inform your doctor that you have researched your condition and would like [xyz] treatment.
4. Treat yourself at home for any condition that does not require prescription medicine or emergency treatment.
5. Question the safety of medicine the doctor prescribes.
In short, do anything that threatens the omniscience and power trip of the doctor. (Because he/she can read..and research...and you, you peon, can't do anything for your health by yourself!)
2. Mention to your doctor that you have used, researched, or found results from any type of natural or alternative medicine.
3. Inform your doctor that you have researched your condition and would like [xyz] treatment.
4. Treat yourself at home for any condition that does not require prescription medicine or emergency treatment.
5. Question the safety of medicine the doctor prescribes.
In short, do anything that threatens the omniscience and power trip of the doctor. (Because he/she can read..and research...and you, you peon, can't do anything for your health by yourself!)
Monday, November 06, 2006
what annoys me
This is something that's been on my mind for a long time, and the emotions run high with it, so I hope I can express myself without sounding judgemental.
It annoys me that most of my liberal friends--namely those that have no children--equate a liberal political standpoint with women working after they have a baby. Let me illustrate my point. I know of one man who writes a liberal political online blog. He and I used to be good friends, although our friendship ended at least 10 years ago. I don't want to link to his blog, yet I don't feel it's fair to directly quote him here without linking, so I'm going to give you the gist of the paragraph that caught my attention.
He was writing about talk radio vs. blogs in a recent entry. On one side, he presented the talk radio audience, which he labeled as conservative. He listed them as the "small-business owners, elderly cranks, stay-at-home moms and traveling salesmen." On the other side, he presented the internet blog audience, which he labeled as liberal. He listed them as the "beige- and white-collar professionals, college students, university employees and techies."
This bothered me on a couple levels. First, there's the obvious, which is that it is so stereotypical it's almost laughable. The one small business owner that I know well is one of the most liberal women I have ever met, and owns the most outspokenly liberal coffee house in the city. Then, of course, there's the entire group of stay-at-home moms that I interact with daily, almost all of which are decidedly liberal.
But perhaps what bothered me even more than assumptions about my political leanings based on my career choice (or lack thereof) was the obvious dichotomy between the two groups. In my personal experience, "small-business owners, elderly cranks, stay-at-home moms and traveling salesmen" are in no way mutually exclusive from "beige- and white-collar professionals, college students, university employees and techies." For what it's worth, I am a stay-at-home-mom, and I have been a white-collar professional, a college student, a university employee, and a techie at some point in my life.
I'm calling this out as a problem I have with the liberals I know because it seems the more conservative men often don't have this SAHM stigma. Of course, it's likely that in the eyes of these right-leaning men that their acceptance of the SAHM probably doesn't indicate an increase in respect for that position. I guess I don't care as much because I never considered conservative guys to be a group that I cared to be respected in, yet I can't say the same for the liberal crowd.
Honestly, while this is not the first time I've run into the stereotype of SAHMs all driving gas hog SUVs, all voting for Bush (the "family values" guy), all supporting rampant materialism by pleasing their children's every whim, etc.., this is the first time I have read a liberal blogger blatantly showing the disrespect he has for moms who stay at home. He probably didn't mean for it to sound that way. I would assume, in all political correctness, that he did not. But the fact that it did sound that way indicates to me that in his head, that is the script that is playing.
For the record, I am a SAHM that is absolutely, without reserve, not against "working women." Here's the reason why: I do surround myself with other SAHMs and I do feel much more comfortable with other SAHMs. We have similar daily struggles, we have similar long-term goals, and we have similar interests. This gives us a plethora of things to talk about, and, well, I enjoy that! But, to start passing judgement on the "working mom" because you're a SAHM or vice versa is dangerous territory. What starts out as judgements soon become cultural stigmas, and that can lead to moms not having choices. I would never want to be a SAHM who thinks that it would great to supplement the family's income or to do a job that fulfills me, and yet feel strong social pressure to stay at home. Nor would I want to be a working mom who would love to come home and stay with her children, yet find that the laws and policies had changed, and if I chose to stay home, I would be treated the same as those on unemployment or welfare.
To play out this ridiculous "Mommy warfare" is to rob each other of our freedoms. None of us want that.
We both need to respect each other's choices if we want to be taken seriously. I have strong reasons for staying at home. The number one reason is that I enjoy being involved in my daughter's daily life. I had children because I wanted to hang with them all day, and I have known from the time I was a very little girl that I wanted to be a SAHM when I grew up. But that doesn't mean I'm uneducated, and it doesn't mean that I don't have opinions about things that are backed up by lots of research, and it doesn't mean I'm only home because I couldn't hack it at a job. Mommy brain moments aside, I spend an inordinate amount of my time learning & working--it's just at home, with my daughter. I'm not going to belittle working moms by pretending they're all the same, and going on here about why they're working and how they feel just to show the other side, and prove we all have valuable points. I am certain that most working moms, just like most SAHMs, have important reasons for their choices.
I look back at the men I dated before I met my husband. Only one seemed to see the value in a mom staying at home to promote the mother-child bond (his mom was a SAHM, by the way). With my history of a lackadaisical attitude toward birth control, and my strong draw to stay home with my children, I'd say I dodged the bullet many times.
It annoys me that most of my liberal friends--namely those that have no children--equate a liberal political standpoint with women working after they have a baby. Let me illustrate my point. I know of one man who writes a liberal political online blog. He and I used to be good friends, although our friendship ended at least 10 years ago. I don't want to link to his blog, yet I don't feel it's fair to directly quote him here without linking, so I'm going to give you the gist of the paragraph that caught my attention.
He was writing about talk radio vs. blogs in a recent entry. On one side, he presented the talk radio audience, which he labeled as conservative. He listed them as the "small-business owners, elderly cranks, stay-at-home moms and traveling salesmen." On the other side, he presented the internet blog audience, which he labeled as liberal. He listed them as the "beige- and white-collar professionals, college students, university employees and techies."
This bothered me on a couple levels. First, there's the obvious, which is that it is so stereotypical it's almost laughable. The one small business owner that I know well is one of the most liberal women I have ever met, and owns the most outspokenly liberal coffee house in the city. Then, of course, there's the entire group of stay-at-home moms that I interact with daily, almost all of which are decidedly liberal.
But perhaps what bothered me even more than assumptions about my political leanings based on my career choice (or lack thereof) was the obvious dichotomy between the two groups. In my personal experience, "small-business owners, elderly cranks, stay-at-home moms and traveling salesmen" are in no way mutually exclusive from "beige- and white-collar professionals, college students, university employees and techies." For what it's worth, I am a stay-at-home-mom, and I have been a white-collar professional, a college student, a university employee, and a techie at some point in my life.
I'm calling this out as a problem I have with the liberals I know because it seems the more conservative men often don't have this SAHM stigma. Of course, it's likely that in the eyes of these right-leaning men that their acceptance of the SAHM probably doesn't indicate an increase in respect for that position. I guess I don't care as much because I never considered conservative guys to be a group that I cared to be respected in, yet I can't say the same for the liberal crowd.
Honestly, while this is not the first time I've run into the stereotype of SAHMs all driving gas hog SUVs, all voting for Bush (the "family values" guy), all supporting rampant materialism by pleasing their children's every whim, etc.., this is the first time I have read a liberal blogger blatantly showing the disrespect he has for moms who stay at home. He probably didn't mean for it to sound that way. I would assume, in all political correctness, that he did not. But the fact that it did sound that way indicates to me that in his head, that is the script that is playing.
For the record, I am a SAHM that is absolutely, without reserve, not against "working women." Here's the reason why: I do surround myself with other SAHMs and I do feel much more comfortable with other SAHMs. We have similar daily struggles, we have similar long-term goals, and we have similar interests. This gives us a plethora of things to talk about, and, well, I enjoy that! But, to start passing judgement on the "working mom" because you're a SAHM or vice versa is dangerous territory. What starts out as judgements soon become cultural stigmas, and that can lead to moms not having choices. I would never want to be a SAHM who thinks that it would great to supplement the family's income or to do a job that fulfills me, and yet feel strong social pressure to stay at home. Nor would I want to be a working mom who would love to come home and stay with her children, yet find that the laws and policies had changed, and if I chose to stay home, I would be treated the same as those on unemployment or welfare.
To play out this ridiculous "Mommy warfare" is to rob each other of our freedoms. None of us want that.
We both need to respect each other's choices if we want to be taken seriously. I have strong reasons for staying at home. The number one reason is that I enjoy being involved in my daughter's daily life. I had children because I wanted to hang with them all day, and I have known from the time I was a very little girl that I wanted to be a SAHM when I grew up. But that doesn't mean I'm uneducated, and it doesn't mean that I don't have opinions about things that are backed up by lots of research, and it doesn't mean I'm only home because I couldn't hack it at a job. Mommy brain moments aside, I spend an inordinate amount of my time learning & working--it's just at home, with my daughter. I'm not going to belittle working moms by pretending they're all the same, and going on here about why they're working and how they feel just to show the other side, and prove we all have valuable points. I am certain that most working moms, just like most SAHMs, have important reasons for their choices.
I look back at the men I dated before I met my husband. Only one seemed to see the value in a mom staying at home to promote the mother-child bond (his mom was a SAHM, by the way). With my history of a lackadaisical attitude toward birth control, and my strong draw to stay home with my children, I'd say I dodged the bullet many times.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
what saddens me
We were driving to our preschool (or "house-school" as Sassy calls it) and I remembered my midwife saying that children can recall their births up until age 3.5 or 4. So I decided to ask Sassy about her birth, just to see if she remembered.
Me: Do you remember when you were born?
Sassy: No...no I don't.
Me: You don't remember the doctors & nurses & the hospital?
Sassy: No...
Me: Do you remember when you came out of Mommy's belly?
Sassy: Yes, I remember that!
Me: How did you like coming out of Mommy's belly? Were you happy or sad?
Sassy: I was sad.
Me: Why were you sad?
Sassy: I was sad because I didn't know where you was. I came out of your belly and I was borned and then you disappeared!
I went on to tell her how sad I was that I didn't get to hold her when she was born. I told her how they just kept stitching & stitching and all I wanted to do was hold her. And I told her how that day, I had to stay in bed all day and all night. And how her Daddy held her and Nana and Papaw and Grandma & Grandpa P. and Grandpa N. and the whole time Mommy wanted to hold her but I couldn't because I had to stay in bed. And how everybody else wanted to hold her because they loved her so much, but that they sort of forgot about Mommy and how much I wanted to hold her. And how Daddy went home that night because he had to take care of Lucy and so she had to go the nursery. And how I stayed up ALL NIGHT and didn't sleep a wink so that I could come get her as soon as they'd let me move at 5:04 the next morning.
I didn't tell her about how I called for the nurse at exactly 5:04 to take the stupid catheter out and how she moseyed on down around 5:30. Nor how I got up and had to prove I could pee before she'd let me walk. Nor how I paced the halls up and down regaining my strength as quickly as possible. Nor how I showed up at the nursery door at 6:00 a.m. asking for her, and they told me, "Oh, I'm sorry, we were just about to do the heel test...you'll have to wait." Nor how I paced the halls waiting for them to be done, listening to the babies cry, and not knowing if the cry I was hearing was her or not, until it was too much emotion and I had to go back and sit in my room, fidgeting and simmering until they finally brought her to me two hours later.
Nor how when she told me about her birth, I just wanted to cry, because I know how terrified she would be spending 8 or 9 hours with strangers at 3 years old, and I can't believe I thought it was satisfactory when she was not even yet 24 hours.
Me: Do you remember when you were born?
Sassy: No...no I don't.
Me: You don't remember the doctors & nurses & the hospital?
Sassy: No...
Me: Do you remember when you came out of Mommy's belly?
Sassy: Yes, I remember that!
Me: How did you like coming out of Mommy's belly? Were you happy or sad?
Sassy: I was sad.
Me: Why were you sad?
Sassy: I was sad because I didn't know where you was. I came out of your belly and I was borned and then you disappeared!
I went on to tell her how sad I was that I didn't get to hold her when she was born. I told her how they just kept stitching & stitching and all I wanted to do was hold her. And I told her how that day, I had to stay in bed all day and all night. And how her Daddy held her and Nana and Papaw and Grandma & Grandpa P. and Grandpa N. and the whole time Mommy wanted to hold her but I couldn't because I had to stay in bed. And how everybody else wanted to hold her because they loved her so much, but that they sort of forgot about Mommy and how much I wanted to hold her. And how Daddy went home that night because he had to take care of Lucy and so she had to go the nursery. And how I stayed up ALL NIGHT and didn't sleep a wink so that I could come get her as soon as they'd let me move at 5:04 the next morning.
I didn't tell her about how I called for the nurse at exactly 5:04 to take the stupid catheter out and how she moseyed on down around 5:30. Nor how I got up and had to prove I could pee before she'd let me walk. Nor how I paced the halls up and down regaining my strength as quickly as possible. Nor how I showed up at the nursery door at 6:00 a.m. asking for her, and they told me, "Oh, I'm sorry, we were just about to do the heel test...you'll have to wait." Nor how I paced the halls waiting for them to be done, listening to the babies cry, and not knowing if the cry I was hearing was her or not, until it was too much emotion and I had to go back and sit in my room, fidgeting and simmering until they finally brought her to me two hours later.
Nor how when she told me about her birth, I just wanted to cry, because I know how terrified she would be spending 8 or 9 hours with strangers at 3 years old, and I can't believe I thought it was satisfactory when she was not even yet 24 hours.
what delights me
A few days ago, Sassy and I were looking at the computer together. We were on the HipMama website and on the sidebar was an ad that contained this picture:
We both noticed the picture, and this is the conversation that followed:
Sassy: Mommy, what is that?
Me: I don't know...I was wondering the same thing...
Sassy: Maybe it's your placenta!
Yes, it delights me that my three year old has seen a real-life placenta and it didn't freak her out. And it delights me that she remembers the word "placenta" and knows how to use it properly. And it delights me that she regards placentas and the like to be a normal part of the human existence.
We both noticed the picture, and this is the conversation that followed:
Sassy: Mommy, what is that?
Me: I don't know...I was wondering the same thing...
Sassy: Maybe it's your placenta!
Yes, it delights me that my three year old has seen a real-life placenta and it didn't freak her out. And it delights me that she remembers the word "placenta" and knows how to use it properly. And it delights me that she regards placentas and the like to be a normal part of the human existence.
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