to my daughters: your calling

Every so often, I think of things that I would like to somehow impart to my daughters. Some life lesson, some been-there-done-that mistake I hope they don't repeat, some realization that I think might help them in their journey from the breathing pulsing beating moving human experience to the other side of eternity. Today I want to tell them about their calling.

It doesn't matter what name you have for it: your calling, your vocation, your destiny, even your specific skill set. If you pick any well-educated, informed and thoughtful person in our society, my loves, they will tell you roughly the same thing in different words.

You must find your calling, they will say.

But your mama is about to tell you that I think they are way off-base, and why I've come to believe that.

My beautiful children, you are special in countless ways. You have all been well-endowed with endless generosity, love, acceptance and kindness. I watch you display it with one another every day. The ways in which you sacrifice your own desires to have your possessions and time (and your mama) all to yourself so you can help one another feel better always surprises me in a way that makes my belly ache from being proud of you. 

You are also each unique and have your own strengths and weaknesses. I could point out specifically what I see those being right here right now, but you are each so young that I will resist my urge to be specific so as not to risk pigeon-holing you into something you might not be.

And as you have unique strengths and weakness, you have unique talents and skills. And you have your own things that would drive you absolutely mad crazy. This is wonderful! This is life, and your generous, sacrificial and very grounded spirits will ensure that you do your best to avoid long-term situations that make you absolutely mad crazy. I am certain of it.

You might be wondering right now, what does this have to do with our callings? (Perhaps she has gotten distracted again, you might say to your sister, what do you think? Probably, she might answer.)

Because, you might wonder, if we each have all this uniqueness, why don't we have a calling?

Well, that's the thing I've been getting around to - you do! You have a calling, and another one, and another one after that. Each of you really does have a certain set of skills, talents, strengths, weaknesses, loves, dislikes, irritations, activities that ground you, activities that bore you, and activities that excite you. And that whole big ball of YOU prepares you for many, many callings.

Let me tell you loves, for as long as I can remember, I have looked for my calling. "What am I on this Earth for?" I've wondered. What grand plan does God have in store for me?

And while I was wondering and waiting for the grand plan to be revealed, I wasted a lot of time doing not much of anything. I ignored and missed all the little callings, keeping my eyes keenly on the horizon for the Big One.

I can pretty much guarantee you that doing nothing as you wait for your calling to be revealed, that is not your calling.

So here is what I want you to remember: you have many callings. You have endless vocations. You might find yourself pursuing three, four, even five of these at any given time. You might find that one has to come before the others, instead of the others, all by itself at one time, while later, you can balance so much more. You might find that what you felt called to do, and genuinely and passionately pursued when you were in your 20s, has no appeal when you are in your 50s. Things change, you change, and needs change. That is the nature of our human experience.

But whatever you do from a place of sacrifice and generosity to further God's Goodness in this world is one of your many callings.

The whole giant ball of uniqueness that makes you you - that is a gift. You must use that gift to promote God's Goodness, as far and wide as you can. It is your responsibility and you must take it very seriously. And then you must sleep easily at night knowing that whatever you have or haven't accomplished that day, week, month, year, decade, you have done this. You must not judge your accomplishments by the world's view of success, but by this alone. Have I used my gifts to promote God's Goodness?

You must live all of your callings, day in and day out.